I am blessed to have a daughter who is currently in college. This adventure for her has also been an adventure for me as she shares stories, conversations, events, and friends with me. In an effort to be a guide to her as she journeys her path, I often times give her “to-do lists” to help her. Today, I want to share one such list with you. This is what I would call this year’s theme for her, as it has been mine for quite a while.

I call it “Keys to Peace in Life.”

Keys to Peace in Life:

1. Live honestly with yourself and then others.
2. Be kind to yourself and others.
3. Have gratitude, always.

Now, I didn’t make this list up haphazardly. This list came from my own cry for peace and understanding, then when I saw her and/or her friend’s chaos, I realized this list is to be shared.

Let’s look at each point together.

The first is “Live honestly with yourself, then others.”

This may seem so simple, but for me, it has been quite the challenge. To start, I thought I was completely honest with others, but the truth is, how could I be when I wasn’t completely honest with myself?  As I spent some time in Psalms 15, I realized “integrity” was a theme.

Psalm 15:2

ESVHe who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;

NIVThe one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart;

NASBOne who walks with integrity, practices righteousness, And speaks truth in his heart.

CSBThe one who lives blamelessly, practices righteousness, and acknowledges the truth in his heart —

What I saw here was the reality that it is impossible for me to live with integrity if I can not even be honest with myself.

So, I took a check-up of my heart.

• When I was agreeing to do something, was it because I was afraid of disappointing someone, or was it because I really wanted to do it?
• When I gave of my time or talent, was I doing it out of a generous heart, or was it because I felt obligated or pressured?
• When I said I did not want todo something, was it because I genuinely didn’t want to, or was it because I was avoiding taking on something uncomfortable or something I really just didn’t have the courage to face?
• When I thought about my children, was I sending them love, hope, and/or peace, or was FEAR the motivation behind my thoughts?

These examples are real conversations I had with myself. Why? Because when I say with my mouth I want to walk with integrity and practice righteousness, I gotta check my motives to make sure they line up with such a confession. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t, but when I live honest about this stuff, I get peace (even when I’m still in the self-correction stage).

II Corinthians 13:5

“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves…”  EVS version says, “see if you are in faith.”

Proverbs 24:26 “Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips.” (NEB)

When you blow it, what is your first response? Is it criticism or condemnation? Do you get upset with yourself? Do you use the words “I’m sorry”?

Criticism has no place in the walk of grace. Condemnation has no place in the walk of grace.  Speaking negatives about yourself has no place in the walk of grace.

Romans 3:24-24 ^“for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

FREELY JUSTIFIED – JUST AS IF I NEVER SINNED!

That is how He sees me, “Just as if I never sinned.” I gotta see myself that way, too. Taking care of yourself is also a way to be kind to yourself. Getting the rest you need, hydrating your body, sitting in the sunshine, quiet time alone, laughing, moments where you stop the world, and just time to sit in “Daddy’s arms”: All of these are ways to be kind to yourself!  When you are kind to yourself, it’s pretty easy to be kind to others.

Kindness to others is also a fruit of the spirit; did you know that? So, next time you are driving down the street and that fellow pulls out in front of you, slams on their brakes, or dives slow in the fast lane, just call on that fruit of the spirit cause you might need it!

The final point is “Live in gratitude, always“.

Now, I could spend hours just on this topic. Gratitude is such a powerful tool for Body, Soul, and Spirit! For the Body, gratitude can actually cause healing.

An article written by UC Davis Health Medical Center entitled “Gratitude is Good Medicine” stated:

A person’s mindset also affects the body’s biochemistry, especially factors related to heart disease.

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret and depression, which can destroy our happiness.”
— Robert Emmons

Gratitude is associated with higher levels of good cholesterol (HDL), lower levels of bad cholesterol (LDL), and lower systolic and diastolic blood pressure, both at rest and in the face of stress. It also has been linked with higher levels of heart rate variability, a marker of cardiac coherence, or a state of harmony in the nervous system and heart rate that is equated with less stress and mental clarity.

Gratitude also lowers levels of creatinine, an indicator of the kidney’s ability to filter waste from the bloodstream, and lowers levels of C-reactive protein, a marker of cardiac inflammation and heart disease.

God encourages us throughout His Word to give thanks, be grateful, and give praise. This state of being is like a miracle state of being because unthankfulness-depression-criticism can not function in the same thought as gratitude. Don’t believe me? Try it! Gratitude is so powerful that it is like turning on a light in a dark room…the light makes the darkness flee! I have this mind picture at times of all of these dark clouds hovering over me and then entering gratitude into the scenario; the clouds begin to rise, separate, thin out, and blue sunny skies show overhead.

Here are a few verses on gratitude:

1. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
2. “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.” (Psalm 100:4)
3. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
4. “Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15)
5. “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17)

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Present all of it with thanksgiving, and what is the result? Peace!  The peace that transcends all understating. It transcends culture, transcends the media, transcends our past, transcends our future, transcends all!

These three keys have been proven true in my life, and gratefully, I can say I see them in my daughter’s life, too. Even her roommate applies these at times. Honesty-kindness-gratitude combined in our lifestyle results in great peace.