Mar
I have a daughter who’s currently is in college. Now, my momma heart is super happy to see her go and thrive but the other side of my momma heart had to come face to face with some real truths when she moved out. When she first moved I was excited for her.
Our daily conversations were about the new adventures she was having. Soon though, I found that I was troubled. I’d call her and just say, “You good?” A friend kindly asked me one day, “Why do you say “Are you good?” when you speak to your daughter? It is as if you are asking her to not be good. She can be having a great day but that question you ask makes her subconsciously doubt that she is as if she is not supposed to be.”
At first, I just allowed this question to offend me.
“That question is honest, it’s how I feel,” I said (in my heart…not to my friend because I was still pondering this and wasn’t quite ready for rebuttal).
But, as I processed the question, I began to look deeper into myself to see the “why”.
The truth is, I would ask that question because I wasn’t “good”. I had worry running in the background of my thoughts. She was perfectly fine.
It was me that was having a hard time.
As I continued to be honest with my motives, I realized that the basis of all of my actions towards her was totally fear-based.
(Even when I sent her money or Amazon stuff, it was out of fear, not faith) I held fear of losing her to her new college world.
I held fear that she would forget all the values I taught her, so I had to stay close just to remind her who she was.
I also entertained the fear that she would be harmed.
Now, looking at that list is not something I do in proud momma mode. I’m pretty embarrassed that I ever allowed any of this in but the truth of the matter was, my intent was fear-based, not love-based.
To correct my actions, the first thing I did in my heart was reviewing this:
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:18
“Perfect” is the equivalent to mature. Perfect love is love that is not timid and withholding but a love that is bold, brave, and seasoned. That kind of love has the courage to say, “Hey, wait a minute. Why am I doing this this way? What am I thinking.” Then it adjusts.
Seriously this is how simple it is to transform our thoughts. We have the courage to think about what we are thinking about and remember that love casts out fear so we love ourselves in that mature way.
Have you ever read Mathew 6? I spent some time there recently and I want to share it with you.
“This is why I tell you to never be worried about your life, for all that you need will be provided, such as food, water, clothing—everything your body needs. Isn’t there more to your life than a meal? Isn’t your body more than clothing. Consider the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your Heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they? So, which one of you by worrying could add anything to your life?And why would you worry about your clothing? Look at all the beautiful flowers of the field. They don’t work or toil,and yet not even Solomon in all his splendor was robed in beauty like one of these!So if God has clothed the meadow with hay, which is here for such a short time and then dried up and burned, won’t he provide for you the clothes you need—you of little faith?So then, forsake your worries! Why would you say, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’For that is what the unbelievers chase after. Doesn’t your heavenly Father already know the things your bodies require?
So above all, constantly seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness, then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly. Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”Mathew 6:25-34
WOW! That is what this section of scripture does to my heart, it wow’s me. Verse 25 says, “That is why I tell you…” What is why? Jesus was referring to what he said just before this. He was teaching about the value of not being attached to stuff. He taught that we are to “stockpile” heavenly treasures and not earthy kinds.
When we realize what is truly valuable in life then we find balance.
Worry is of no value! It does however bring in torment because worry leads to fear and fear produces torment. So, let’s take on the beginning stage of fear which is worry!
Verse 26 says, “Consider the birds of the field.” Okay, let’s do just that.
In my backyard, I have a bird feeder because I really enjoy watching all the birds flutter around. Their colors, variety, and beautiful song gives me great joy. Never once though have they knocked on my window when the feeder was empty and said, “Hey lady, you’re gonna need to get some food in here for us.”
If my feeder is empty, no problem, they just go else wear because they have zero worries that they will be fed. They do not have trees filled with sunflower seeds just in case. They don’t panic when my feeder is empty, they just freely live worry-free, and all they need gets provided.
When I began to “consider” the birds, I began to consider my own thinking. Worry can really squeeze life. When I let my brain (I say “let” because that is exactly how thinking happens when I get to choose what I think) start down a path of worry (I use the word “down” because worry totally takes us downward on any emotional scale) worry grows and faith shrinks.
Verse 27 makes me smile. Why? Because I picture a little kid with eyes squinted tightly and fist clenched gritting their teeth trying to make themselves grow. That just doesn’t work. The greek defines verse 27 as “can add on hour to your life.”
Utilizing worry to bring about faith results is pointless!
Worry does not produce life and peace and joy in our lives. It does not allow our lives to flow with abundance like a river. Worry is like a dam, it blocks the flow of abundance in our life just like that little kid all tighten up. It blocks good blood flow to the brain, ha! We have to unclinch our hands, ungirt our teeth, and open our eyes to confidence and the peace-filled promise “Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they?”
Currently, I live in the plains of Texas. One of my favorite things to do is to go sit out in the prairie and meadows in the Spring and Summer. They are so beautiful. Green grass blowing in the breeze makes a sound like nothing else. But, when October rolls around this beautiful meadow gets harvested to make hay for the animals. It basks in beauty one minute and then is cut down the next to begin the cycle all over. Jesus is saying in verse 30 that if God clothed the field won’t He provide for you? We live in seasons too and each season, He provides whatever is needed, whenever it is needed.
You are so loved.
No seriously, you are SO loved by your Heavenly Father! There is no need or space for worry in His love. His love is the most perfect of all and it casts out all the worry and fear.
Verse 34 is the one I want to speak on a mega phone and then cheered out over us on a daily bases…
“REFUSE TO WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW! REFUSE TO WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW! REFUSE TO WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW!”
When I took a moment to think about what I was thinking about, I realized I worried about my daughter’s tomorrow. wasn’t letting the blessing of God flow because I dammed it up with worry. But, the beautiful thing is this, I get to choose what I think. I am very good at “shushing” myself. You know those thoughts like, “Well, what about..” shoosh! “Well, there’s this..” shoosh! I have the right to shoosh my thoughts and direct them back to thoughts of peace, joy, success, hope, love. One thing I remind myself of often is Ephesians 3:20. I simplified it for my brain to simply say “What if it turns out better than I can expect.” and then I expect that to be true!
So let’s conclude this.
Live for today-refuse to worry because you are His and He is yours-
I recommend this fun song: Birds Don’t Worry
