15
Jun
Jun
I have a sweet friend whom I love spending time with. She is in her mid 70’s and teaches me so many beautiful things. One day while spending time together, she commented on her mother, which revealed a “not so good” relationship. That comment leads to a few other comments. As I listened to her, I sadden when I realized she had spent a lifetime in this pain. As I thought about what my friend said, I asked her if she had ever taken the time to acknowledge the mistreatment, wrong behavior, and hurtful things her mom did. “Oh gosh, that was so long ago,” was her response.
“Exactly” was mine. “That WAS a long time ago yet your heart has held unhealed scares all this time.”
Have you heard “time heals”? I don’t believe this statement to be true.
Healing HEALS
And one of the most significant ways to heal a heart is to reconcile what was harmed.
Let me use an illustration of how this has happened.
We have all balanced a checkbook in some form or another. Throughout our spending, if we forget to account for, say, that $5 coffee, our balance will show a negative, but if we have not acknowledged it, that unreconciled amount will leave a hole in our accounting. When we look at where our finances are, without that $5 being noted, we may struggle to figure out what’s going on with our account.
Life is so much like a checkbook. Some things happen in life that affect our balance, but many times we do not acknowledge that negative. We just let “time” heal it and move on. The negative doesn’t go anywhere; it’s just unreconciled, hanging out in the subconscious.
Neurologist Dr. Caroline Leaf, in her book “Switch On Your Brain” states:
“When you objectively observe your own thinking with the view to capturing rogue thoughts, you in effect direct your attention to stop the negative impact and rewire healthy new circuits into your brain.”We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised agains the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.II Corinthians 10:5
This is how we balance our mental checkbook. When my friend spoke, her words (which show what’s in the heart) revealed pain and abuse that she had stuff that she still needed to face, to speak life over or heal. She has been unbalanced in this category for a long time.
As I thought about this sharing, I asked myself, what stops me or others from healing the pain of the past?
I know that God says it is available for me to not be anxious about anything and have the peace of God, which transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:5).
Here is the list I came up with. I believe this has so much to do with what stops the healing:
1. Ignoring it
Ignoring a spider crawling on your head does not mean it is not crawling on your head. I dare you to try, hahaha. Some scenarios in life have to be taken apart one piece at a time (kind of like a Lego wall, remove one Lego at a time). Others can get knocked down and removed in one swoop, but ignoring and acting as if it didn’t happen does not help me heal.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
Jesus taught that I can face my fears with His help, so no matter if it’s 100 pieces I need to face or one big swoop, I don’t have to be troubled or afraid. I am not alone in this. Steven Furtick calls this the “This is or thus says.” Things in my past are the “this is.” When I have the courage to look at those negative thoughts; that are either continually on replay or are hidden yet unhealed, through the filter of scripture, I can turn that negative from “this is to thus says”.
For example:
This is unfair – Thus says: He will repay
This is rejection – Thus says: I am accepted by Him
This is failure – Thus says: I can do all things
This is hurtful – Thus says: what the enemy meant for evil, you turn it for good
2. Unforgiveness
We need to be aware of two types of forgiveness in this life. The forgiveness we give others and the forgiveness we need to give ourselves.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.Romans 8:1
The things I did in the past can not be changed. They are dead and gone, over, behind me. They only keep replaying in my current reality if I let them. I choose to resolve things I did to myself and/or to others that were not good, kind, and loving by forgiving myself! If I can forgive myself, then forgiving others is so simple. Jesus showed us how simple it is.
While they were nailing Jesus to the cross, he prayed over and over, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.” The soldiers, after they crucified him, gambled over his clothing.Luke 23:34
No one has ever been treated as badly as this man whose whole being was about love-light-liberty to all who met him. He had every reason to be angry, bitter, and unforgiving, yet in His most desperate time, He still manifested love-light-liberty. There is nothing I cannot forgive myself or others for when I look at it through the eyes of love.
3. Not letting go
Have you ever gone fishing and used a cast net? A cast net is a huge net that you throw out into the water. As it is thrown, it opens wide, then when it hits the water, its span quickly closes due to the weights all along its sides. The fisherman has a long rope connected to the net. After the cast is made, the fisherman then pulls the rope that he is still holding onto and brings the net back in. This time, the empty net has shells or fish or other things that were caught in the net.
When I choose to go from “this is to thus says” I am healing, but it is essential to then never drag what I have cast away from me back into my life. When it is cast out, throw the rope too!
Don’t bring it back in! Let go; gone is gone!
God is a restorer!
From Genesis 1:2 to Revelations 22:21, we see God reconcile, heal, restore, and make beautiful things out of dust. Turning our eyes to the reality of His goodness redirects our focus from the earth’s events that have caused pain to the heavenly dimension of Love-Light-Liberty. This is where we can reside!
“He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”Psalm 23:3 KJV
There may be things behind me that were not good, painful, slave conditioning – but I am No longer a slave to fear! I have the authority to look at that stuff and say, ” You no longer get to have a hold on me. You no longer reside in my soul. I will, from this moment on, throw you off of my back and out of my reach, out of my remembrance, and out of my future story. I will no longer carry this with me; I remove its power over me once and for all, right here, right now!”
“Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you, and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My ordinances and do them.”
Ezekiel 36:26-27
A New heart! Wait, I don’t have to carry around the old pains, abuse, rejection, lack, poverty, fear? No, he promised to give me a new heart-a new spirit——I have that, I just have to Let Go the old stuff and embrace my newness!
“When you objectively observe your own thinking with the view to capturing rogue thoughts, you in effect direct your attention to stop the negative impact and rewire healthy new circuits into your brain.” Dr. Caroline Leaf
