Jan
The other day I was at Walmart. As I walked up the aisle, a lady was coming toward me. She was dressed in a robe with slippers and I’m pretty confident her hair (possibly teeth too) had not yet been brushed. I quickly started to entertain some thoughts, (judgement) “Well, why didn’t she just take the time…” (that’s as far as we will go with my awesome thoughts at that moment).
As the fountain of criticism began to flow, I felt my pulse increase. Maybe you too are familiar with that pulmonary racing when you are about to go on a soap box with all of your opinions (maybe that’s just me, but that’s what happened.) Quickly I snapped at myself, “Kalyn, what are you doing?. You have no idea what’s going on in that ladies life. You don’t know if she is well or ill.
Have you ever paid one of her bills, felt one of her scars or carried any of her burdens, even if but for a moment?”
The answer is a heralding, NO!
No, I don’t know her story and in the same situation maybe I would fall!
The reality is, we can never fully understand anyones thought process, save our own. We will never have the same experiences as others. We will never know truly what it is like to “walk in their shoes”. That’s a good name for a title! Whose shoes fit you best, yours or someone else’s? That’s what I want to focus on today, walking in our own shoes.
Take a look at 1 Thessalonians.
And to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 NIV
Aspire to lead a calm and peaceful life as you mind your own business and earn your living, just as we’ve taught you. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 The Passion Translation
Stay calm; mind your own business; do your own job. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 The Message
And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your hands, even as we charged you; … 1 Thessalonians 4:11 ASV
There are some great tips in that verse that we could spend hours looking into but for this let’s look at just one. “Mind your own business”. I prefer to say it with a little momma tone, Mind yo’ bizz!’
Let’s break down some of these words with the Strong’s Concordance:
Your in this verse is a pronoun meaning “belonging to you”
Own in this verse is an adjective meaning “belonging to.”
Business is “that which occupies the time, attention and labor of men”.
So “your” modifies “own” and “own” describes business. Simply stated, “that which occupies your time and attention is yours, your own and belongs you alone.” .
That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? That one line should be all I need. Honestly though there are many times that I have enjoyed minding others business so much more. I can be an expert on how someone else should parent! I have a friend who has many more children than I have ever had. There was a discussion of how she was handling a situation with all of them and I immediately knew the exact answer, HA! (please note sarcasm). My ego-mind that was loving not staying in my own lane-the same one that has never been in such a situation-was ready to judge how this momma was gonna handle something I had no business in! There’s that word, business…this was not my own, it was hers.
I also vividly remember my best friend, Heidi, who had children several years after I had my first one say to me, “When I have kids that will not happen”. Her expertise on how I should parent soon developed some humility when she had her own children and realized parenting is not an act of perfection, but a messy-beautiful-colorful art!
She and I laugh about this all the time. Man, how we have grown! The truth of the matter is, each person has the joy, challenge, & opportunity to live their life with all of its crazy, messy, beautiful parts.
Every time I choose to judge someone, I am actually revealing a part of myself that is not yet whole.
Read that one more time. The moment I step out of my “own business” into another and try to judge how “they” should or should not live, I am revealing to myself something.
So, here is my challenge to you.
When that “false perception” tries to direct my thoughts to lead someone else’s path, I have the right and privilege to STOP THE TRAIN and look inside myself. By doing this I get to see what, inside me, needs some focused healing. Ultimately, my goal is to be my best self, in and through my Father. The only way to accomplish this goal is with some introspection.
Roman 12:2 gives us the formula and its very simple.
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
God has given the power of change to me. Transformed is literally a metamorphisi change. When I choose to look at my thoughts and adjust them I literally transform.
Proverbs 23:7
“For as he thinks within himself. so is he.”
Proverbs establishes that our thoughts make us who we are and Romans shows me I get to change every thought I want to. Therefore, I am a continual “kaleidoscope of ever changing beauty”, if I want to be.
“Kaleidoscope of ever changing beauty” Dr. VP Wierwille
Do you know what these are?
They are my shoes…the ones I and only I have ever worn.
They have seen all the roads I have traveled, climbed all the mountains in front of me, and jumped over the many obstacles in my path.
You have never worn these shoes.
You don’t know how they have stood when I felt like falling, danced when it was raining, and ran when others walked.
A true friend loves at all times….you can only walk in your own shoes…..see only the best in others. You do not know what it is like in their shoes.
A final word I want to leave you with is this, “Not my monkey, not my circus”!
I have found that when I am in a situation that “triggers” me to start down a path where I want to tell someone else how to live/think/dress, I simply say those words.
Why?
Because, when I took a second to look inside me after judgement began, I realized I was kind of a control freak and that when others were doing something in a way that I didn’t like, I wanted to step in and “control” the situation. If I remind myself that it is not MY situation to handle I easily release all my “feel” to get in there and direct everything. “Not my monkey, not my circus” is a powerful check point for me personally.
The final word I want to leave you with is this poem. I read it as a little girl and it has resonated often for me.
Pray don’t find fault with the man who limps
or stumbles along the road,
unless you have worn the shoes he wears
or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
though hidden away from view,
or the burden he bears, placed on your back
might cause you to stumble too.
Don’t sneer at the man who’s down today
unless you have felt the blow
that caused his fall or felt the shame
that only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
that were his if dealt to you,
in the selfsame way, at the selfsame time,
might cause you to stagger too.
Don’t be too harsh with the man who sins
or pelt him with word or stone,
unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
that you have no sins of your own
for you know perhaps if the tempter’s voice
should whisper as softly to you
as it did to him when he went astray,
it might cause you to stumble too.Author Unknown
Joy in learning