Don’t Cry Over Spilt Coffee

I use this as an example for the word love. In the English language, love is only translated one way – LOVE. But, in Greek, there are several words for love. Each one functions totally different from the other but what drives the function of each of them is a desire to give of oneself to another.

Let’s look at four Greek words for love: Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape.

• Euros can be defined as sensual or erotic love. This is the love between a husband and a wife. It is a free giving of oneself sexually. Now don’t get squirmy, I’m not gonna stay on this one for long but it’s important to know that this love functions in the physical realm. As with all love, giving is required in euros love. Euros means the giving of one’s body to another.

• Storge is an affectionate love, one of belonging. It’s the type of love one has for a family member. It’s an unforced natural love. Siblings don’t always express this love, but it’s there. I can remember having a friend who was from a large family. They fought all the time about silly things and then they got over it. But, don’t you dare fight with any of them because you will then be fighting all of them….they had a natural storge love for one another and outsiders do not have the same belonging as the natural family does.

• Phileo can be defined as a love of brother. This is a love that most often exhibits in close friendships. It’s a generous affectionate love where the two seek to make the other happy. This love is developed through time and friendship, it does not just occur. But, when it is developed, it is oh so sweet between friends. I Samuel 18:1-3.

• Agape love is what we will focus the most on because this love goes above and beyond all the others. If you look at the other three types of love the one thing they all have in common is each is based that they are dependent on my five senses perspective or how I feel at the moment (we all know how quickly we amazing women can change a “feeling”).

I can euro love my husband but then I can also decide, “Nope, not today.” (Um, I’m not recommending this by any means this is purely an example!) But the point is that this love is based on a feeling that I may or may not have so it can not always be counted on.

Storge love is a natural affection but as we all know in any family it takes much work to endeavor to keep unity and peace. If you have ever had a teenage daughter, you understand that while phileo love between two best friends is super fun and exciting, teenage girls can switch their emotions in the blink of an eye, literally! If you want to understand how quickly Christ will come back…blink of an eye example right there- best friends to worse enemies back to best friends all within the blink of an eye!

Agape love, though, is based on Spirit. It’s a superhuman source that is energized by a good God in a complete way. Agape is only available to manifest if you first have Holy Spirit within you because God is the sole source of this type of love. (I John 4:15-20). Agape is a mirror of God’s own ceaseless love for us. The result of this love is a capacity to “dress” the way Colossians 3 encourages us to.

Colossians 3:12-14

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love (agape), dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” The Message Bible

The more we grasp that our identity comes from the author of pure love, the more we are able to impart this type of love to others. Agape is the love that transforms relationships because even if it is not reciprocated it still changes even the air around us. Agape sees the divine being, not the flesh.

I’d like to quote, Pastor Jimmy Evans, in his teaching entitled “The Destroyer of Your Marriage”:

“You have to face down the devil with agape love. It’s the only love strong enough to defeat his lies. Agape love says, “I believe in you and I will never change that”!

I Corinthians overflows with the who/what/when/how of Agape! Love in all of these verses can be translated “Agape“.

I Corinthians 13:7 The Message Bible

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11 When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.”

So, what does love have to do with the title, “Don’t Cry Over Spilt Coffee”? I’m glad you asked.

A few days ago when I was at church, I noticed several people standing around a table helping clean up a spill. As I further looked on I noticed that the person who spilled the coffee was a man in a wheelchair. His hands were not fully opened and he had a slight shake to them. As I watched, I was not in empathy for him or sympathy over him, I was moved with love for him. I realized that his spilling of the coffee energized a desire to serve among the six strangers who all rose to the occasion to help clean up the spill that was all over the table, floor, and on him.

What he did was actually offer an opportunity for others to serve, and serve they did. When he turned his wheelchair to leave, I knew I was supposed to go over and talk to him. I knew to tell him what I saw and how much I loved seeing the hearts of service that kicked into gear to help him. I walked to him and tapping him on the shoulder I said, “I’m glad you spilled the coffee.” He turned his chair completely around and looked deep into my eyes. With a gurgled voice he said, “What?” I told him how I saw it as a blessing because he gave others a chance to rise and serve. I told him that I thought it was wonderful to see the six jump into action and I thought what he did was actually a gift to others.

To my life-changing surprise, he then did something I never expected and continued to gleam every time I think about it; “Can I tell you something?” he said. Unable to understand what he was saying (at this point I could tell that he, at some point in life, had a stroke that caused his vocal cords and his mouth to struggle to keep up with the thoughts he wanted to enunciate).

I leaned in close to him and said, “Please say it again, I will understand you this time.” He said it again. This time I understood what he said and replied, “Yes”. He reminded me of my grandfather so my natural mind assumed he would tell me a story like my grandfather always does. But instead, he brought me to my knees. “I have a word from the Lord for you.”

He began to say things to me that only my God knows are deep within me. Through the slow speech, through the off-timed sounds, he continued to speak what he knew the Spirit was telling him to say. He was not embarrassed by his interrupted flow in speech, he carried no shame of his crooked hands, and he held nothing back from fear of his outward appearance. He just simply spoke truth and life over me and in me with all of the love of God he had within him.

This, my friends, is Agape! It is unhindered by human frailty, sees through to the divine in others, and is courageously honest and bold. I will never be the same after this moment because the love of God imparted unto me by this son of God propelled me to a new horizon. Do not hold back. When you see, hear, or simply know to impart Agape to someone, be like my friend Jimmy: fearlessly, unapologetically, and with everything you have – impart it to someone!

The love of God – Agape that lives within you will change lives as you give it to yourself and others.