When I was a young girl, I would go up to a gumball machine, turn the handle, and receive gum—simple as that. I didn’t question it, and I didn’t think about cost. It was fun, it worked, and it brought me joy.

Then one day, someone told me,
“Oh, you can’t do that. You have to have a quarter for it to work.”

From that moment on, something shifted. I never again tried to turn that handle without a quarter. A limit had been placed on my belief system. A rule had been handed to me, and I accepted it/attached to the belief—without realizing that a spiritual metaphor had just been born.

That quarter became a symbol of limitation, conditional access, and eventually, fear—the fear that I couldn’t receive freely anymore. The flow stopped not because of the machine, but because of what I believed.

Authenticity Over Attachment

We all long to be loved, seen, and safe. And often, we learn early on that love and acceptance come with conditions. So we begin to attach—to people, roles, routines, and approval. We trade in our authenticity for attachment because somewhere along the way, we were told:

“You have to pay first.”

We learn to perform for love, prove our worth, and earn our belonging.

But God invites us into something radically different:

Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?
If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Authenticity over attachment to approval — this verse reminds us that living for God often requires us to release the need to be liked or accepted by others.

Ephesians 4:22–24 (NLT)

“Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life… Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.
Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.”

Authenticity over attachment to old identities — walking in who God made you to be, not who you had to become to survive or be accepted.

Matthew 16:25 (ESV)

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Authenticity over attachment to control — letting go of the version of life we cling to in fear opens the door to true, abundant life.

2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Authenticity over attachment to religious performance — the Spirit leads us into freedom, not control or legalism.

Psalm 139:13–14 (NLT)

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb…
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

Authenticity as divine design — you are meant to be fully yourself. There’s no need to conform to be worthy.

John 8:32 (NIV)

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Authenticity = truth = freedom — when we live in truth, we live in spiritual freedom.

Authenticity is not self-centered. It’s soul-centered. It’s the return to who God created you to be before the quarters were required. It’s choosing truth even when it risks disapproval.

⸻

Love Over Fear

Attachment often comes from fear:
•    Fear of being alone
•    Fear of not being enough
•    Fear of rejection
•    Fear that love will leave if we don’t hold on tightly enough

But Scripture reminds us:

“Perfect love drives out fear.”
— 1 John 4:18

Letting go of fear doesn’t mean letting go of people—it means letting go of:
•    The illusion of control
•    The pressure to earn love
•    The belief that we are only worthy when others approve

When we let go of those things, love flows again. Freely. Like it did before the quarter.

⸻

Letting Go Isn’t Loss—it’s Freedom

We’re not letting go of people.
We’re detaching or releasing::
•    Expectations
•    Control
•    Approval-driven identity
•    Fear-based beliefs about what we “need”

We’re making room for God to be our Source. Not others. Not outcomes. Just Him.

Here’s practical keys for evolving beyond the need for external fulfillment but trust in the free flow of God’s supply:

1. Identify the Emotional Need Behind the Attachment

Ask:
•    What am I hoping this person/relationship will give me?
(Security? Validation? Worthiness? Belonging?)
•    Do I believe I can’t feel that without them?

Practice: Journal this honestly. Trace the feeling back to its root—often childhood or unmet needs.

⸻

2. Invite God Into That Space First

When you locate that emotional need, pause and turn inward:

“God, I feel like I need someone to affirm me. Remind me of who I am in You.”

This step is about replacing the reflex to reach outward with a holy pause that reaches upward.

Practice: Speak declarations aloud:
•    “I am deeply known and fully loved.”
•    “God, Your voice over me is enough.”

⸻

3. Detach with Compassion, Not Coldness

Detaching doesn’t mean pushing people away—it means letting go of the belief that they must behave a certain way for you to feel okay.

Practice: Next time you feel yourself clinging to someone’s attention or approval, whisper:

“They don’t complete me. God does.”

⸻

4. Fill Your Inner Cup Daily

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make spiritual self-care a rhythm—not just a rescue.
•    Scripture meditation
•    Worship music that reminds you of identity
•    Grounding walks in nature
•    Time in silence with God

These build a life rooted in overflow, not neediness.

⸻

5. Show Up in Relationships From Wholeness

When you no longer need others to fill your gaps, you can actually love more freely—without strings, pressure, or fear.

Practice: Enter conversations or interactions asking,

“How can I bring love to this, not extract from it?”

Scripture Anchors for This Journey
•    “My soul finds rest in God alone.” — Psalm 62:1
•    “You are complete in Him.” — Colossians 2:10
•    “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” — Psalm 23:1

 

Back to the Gumball Machine.

Maybe today, you’re standing at a metaphorical gumball machine in your life.

Maybe you’ve been told that you have to pay to receive. That love has limits. That joy only comes through earning.

But I wonder—what if it was never about the quarter?
What if love was always meant to flow freely?
What if God is simply inviting you back to that childlike belief where things just worked—because you believed they could?

⸻

Reflection Question:

Where in your life have you added a “quarter” that God never required?
•    Is there a place where you’ve believed you must earn love, favor, or peace?
•    What would it look like to turn the handle in faith again—believing love can flow freely?

 

May we live in the flow of grace, with childlike wonder and bold authenticity.
No fear. No quarters. Just trust.