There are only two motivators in life: fear and love
All decisions we make and all actions we take come from one of two drives: love or fear.
As a young child, we are programmed to act out of either fear or love, for example:
- “If you do that, I will pop your butt!” or “Don’t do that, it’s not the best for you!”
- “Sit in your car seat, or you’ll get hurt!” or “Sit in your car seat to keep yourself safe.”
- “Do this, or you’ll get grounded.” or “Do this because it will help you.”
- “Act right in school, or you will go to the principal.” or “Act right in school because you want to be the best version of yourself.”
As adults, we continue these trends, for example:
- I diet because I either fear being unhealthy or because I love my body and want it to function at its best.
- I set my alarm because I’m afraid I won’t wake up, or I set my alarm to help me get up on time.
- I allow someone to treat me a certain way because I’m afraid they won’t want to be with me if I don’t or I speak my truth and set my boundaries because I love myself.
Since most of us were programmed from childhood to act out fear, reprograming ourselves is up to us. Only I can transform an old way of filtering my actions through fear into filtering them through love. I, and only I can transform myself as I learn a new way of thinking…some call it a renewed way of thinking.
Albert Einstein once stated, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
I get to determine my mind. I get to change my thinking anytime I want.
Ephesians 3:17
“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love.”
Being rooted and grounded in love (not fear) is to be our foundation, the basis from which we make decisions and take action, the foundation of our motives and hearts. This truth is very contrary to the ways of our society. The news is popular because of the drama and fear it spreads, not because of the love and peace it emulates.
What does it mean to be rooted and grounded in love?
“Rooted” is the Greek word rhiza which can be defined as that which comes from depth, from the root.
Have you ever studied a tree’s root system? The roots are where the tree’s life begins. As they grow deeper and deeper, they gain nourishment from the soil they are rooted into.
Trees – like all other living things – need food, water, and nutrients to survive. Trees make their own food through photosynthesis, using energy from sunlight, water (from the roots), and carbon dioxide (from the air) to create sugar that is used to fuel the rest of the tree. Water is carried from the roots to the leaves through xylem cells. Sugar is transported back to the rest of the tree through phloem cells (see diagram below). Sugar is converted into starch, and can be stored in the trunk or the roots, or used for immediate growth. The amount of photosynthesis that can occur in the leaves is directly related to the amount of water that the roots can absorb. A small root system can only support the photosynthesis of a small canopy, and roots can only grow larger if they have enough energy (sugar) provided by the leaves. In this way, the tree must balance its above ground and below ground growth.
https://www.portland.gov/trees/get-involved/news/2021/3/30/tree-physiology-primer-all-about-roots
We are to be rooted in LOVE. We are to set our hearts, minds, motives, and behaviors in the foundation of love and then dig deep. We water our roots with the scripture and examples Jesus gave us.
There is a beautiful song by Scott Stapp entitled “What Would Love Do” that has helped me time and time again.
What a question to constantly ask myself. Before I speak, act, or determine an outcome, I can ask myself, “What would love do?” This will help me filter my motives. This will help me direct my steps in the right direction. This will help me be more like Him.
How do I live rooted and grounded in love? I stop, breathe, and ask myself, “What would love do if it were standing right here looking me in the face?” The simple answer is I was created out of, by, through, from, by way of, because of PURE LOVE. God is the source of all love and lives inside of me. The very second I decide to filter my motivation for anything in life through that question, I instantly call unto myself The Source of all love. Then, I transform my life as I renew or make a new-developed mindset.
To quote the handsome man I married:
“Come at everything with LOVE!
Come into everything with LOVE!”
1 John 4:17-18 in the Message version of the Bible puts it like this:
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day — our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life — fear of death, fear of judgment — is one not yet fully formed in love.
There is an old Cherokee story that a grandfather tells his grandson.
Inside every person, there are two wolves. One is the wolf of fear (of anger, jealousy, control, guilt, resentment, shame, etc), and one is the wolf of love (trust, hope, love, understanding, compassion, etc).
These two wolves are in a battle with each other, the grandfather says. And when the grandson, in his innocence, asks the grandfather “which wolf wins?”, the grandfather responds, “the one you feed”.
I get to choose what I feed. What I choose in my own life is also what I will manifest towards others.
- If you see me losing my “stuff” on you, I’m doing the same thing with myself when no one is looking.
- If you see me always pointing out the wrong, the negatives, or the darkness, it’s because that is what I do with my thoughts when no one is looking.
- If you see me being patient and kind to you, that is what I am doing inside when no one is looking.
We must fight for our joy/peace/love by taking the time for ourselves to bask in the light of love through His word, praying, meditation, and deliberate focus.
Separation, division, blame, doubt, scapegoats, confusion, hate, and acting out of obligation only exist in the absence of Love.
Being offended – which by the way is always a choice, is also the absence of love.
I love this quote by Joshua Medcalf in his book Chop Wood Carry Water:
“Every day I’m learning how to fuel my heart & starve my fears. Love attracts energy. Fear consumes it.”
When the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11) was placed at Jesus’ feet, what did he do? Did he get caught up in the consuming fear-motivated energy the crowd was pushing? Did he, out of obligation, answer them or even acknowledge them? Did he use them as a scapegoat and blame them for trying to tick him? Did he make people take sides and divide everyone? No, he simply knelt down, drew in the sand, and then rose with an answer of love. Love stops the chaos; love shuts down the darkness. Love is and will always be greater than fear! When we speak or act out of love, it has great power, and it moves things! Just like a light turns on and the darkness goes, love turns on and the fear leaves.
LOVE IS ALWAYS GREATER THAN fear!
Look at this beautiful example of how just a few words spoken from pure love changed everything!!!!
Rooted and Grounded in Love. He is our example of this. He came to teach us how to do this!
- May you enjoy your life as you intentionally live rooted and grounded in love.
- May you see Him in everything as you intentionally live rooted and grounded in love.
- May you grow in your understanding of His love as you intentionally live rooted and grounded in love.