A Change of Mind

The other day I had an incident that I learned from. These are the things I love to share with you: lessons and blessings along my journey.

Let me preface this lesson that I truly see: “divorce is hard,” even for grown children.

An action was done against me by my ex-husband that I momentarily allowed to hurt me. One of my sons, however, was involved, too, so this stung just a bit more. Now, I know that I am not to be offended when an unhealed person does something hurtful because hurt people hurt people, but this time, for a brief moment, I did take it personally.

A few days later was, according to Google’s list of new holidays, “National Son’s Day.”

The offended version of me wasn’t even about to acknowledge that because, well, you know, I was hurt!  Sulking in my own pity party {table for one, please} was a bit of a downer. Being my biggest cheerleader, I soon began my personal pep talk. “Hey, girl, what are you doing at this table all alone? You’re in a really low emotional state here. Why don’t you look up and smell the roses, count your blessings, change your focus.”

As I giggled at my own silliness, I got peaceful and began to focus on thankfulness. That is when I heard it deep in my soul, “Love expects nothing in return.”

Luke 6:34-35 Amplified

If you lend [money] to those from whom you expect to receive [it back], what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners expecting to receive back the same amount. But love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies, and do good, and lend, ^[a]expecting nothing in return; for your reward will be great (rich, abundant), and you will be sons of the Most High; because He Himself is kind and gracious and good to the ungrateful and the wicked.

 

I had to check myself. Love changes everything. When we do something out of love, we literally bring light into manifestation. While working all of this through in my heart and head, I was brought to another verse.

 

Isaiah 54:17

“No weapon that is formed against you will succeed;

And every tongue that rises against you in judgment you will condemn.

This [peace, righteousness, security, and triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,

And this is their vindication from Me,” says the Lord.

I read this to myself several times. I did not, however, focus on those who I felt hurt me so I could mentally slam that verse in their face (FYI). Instead, I read this with great expectations that God is love, I am His, and so are they, and He will turn what was meant for harm into good.

 

Romans 8:28-39

²⁸ And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan andpurpose. ²⁹ For those whom He foreknew [and loved and chose beforehand], He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son [and ultimately share in His complete sanctification], so that He would be the firstborn [the most beloved and honored] among many believers. ³⁰ And those whom He predestined, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified [declared free of the guilt of sin]; and those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity].

³¹ What then shall we say to all these things? If God is for us, who can be [successful] against us? ³² He who did not spare [even] His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against God’s elect (His chosen ones)? It is God who justifies us [declaring us blameless and putting us in a right relationship with Himself]. ³⁴ Who is the one who condemns us? Christ Jesus is the One who died [to

pay our penalty], and more than that, who was raised [from the dead], and who is at the right hand of God interceding [with the Father] for us. ³⁵ Who shall ever separate us from the love of ^[d]Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ Just as it is written and forever remains written,

“For Your sake we are put to death all day long;
We are regarded as sheep for the slaughter.”

³⁷ Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors and gain an overwhelming victory through Him who loved us [so much that He died for us]. ³⁸ For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced—beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

As I got my head on straight, I began to turn anger into compassion and frustration into peace.  The next two verses sealed peace in my heart.

 

1 Corinthians 10:13

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

 

I John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

What am I afraid of? What am I angry about? God has my back. In all of life, this is the truth I can believe, think on, hold onto and rest in.

When we direct our thoughts to think through love’s perspective instead of hate or anger, or frustration, we are literally turning dark to light. Everything shifts, the trajectory is changed, and peace reigns. We literally get to choose to live in love.

So what did I choose to do? I sat down and wrote a loved filled message to my son. I did not expect anything in return, a response, an apology, a hug, nothing. I sent it because love is the greatest of all, and I am connected to The Greatest Lover of all. His nature is what overflows from within me, and I am His, so I want to live His way.

This act of genuine love did have a positive effect. First, within me.

Love changes the giver for the better before it ever changes the receiver.