Heart Cross Roads

On a bright winter afternoon, I went to visit a friend.  She wasn’t feeling well, so I was going to run some errands for her. We visited for a bit then she went to get her money to give me for the errands.

As she searched she began to get frustrated, “I always put it right here!” She claimed. Starting to get frantic she began looking all around, questioning her every step from the last few hours. Her next comment is what inspired me to spend some time comparing and contrasting discernment, blame, and self-reflection.

“I had a new cleaning lady come today. She must have taken it.”

Now, don’t go getting all judgy on my friend…we all have our moments.  

She was having a moment.

You know, those moments when you go from peace to fear?

At that very moment, logic leaves the brain because fear squashes logic. Calmly, I walked over to her, believed in my heart that I would find the money, moved a few things around, and “voila” there it was.

Embarrassed, she graciously said thanks and a new conversation began.

“You realize that there is difference between judgment and discernment,” I began. “What just happened here was not discernment on your part.”

Now, I’m not here to pick on my friend, but I use this illustration because it lead me down a beautiful path, follow me down it for a bit….

One of the ways we manifest Holy Spirit is by “discerning of spirits”. It is part of that gift of Holy Spirit we have.  God wants us to utilize discernment in life.

“But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil”

Hebrews 5:1

Discernment is a beautiful part of our gift and helps us to stand, remain in peace, see information about situations, and make proper decisions at times. Its purpose is for us to prove what is good, not go on a hunt for evil.

“But test all things carefully [so you can recognize what is good]. Hold firmly to that which is good.”

1 Thessalonians 5:21

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.”

Philippians 1:9-10

The next thing I looked at on this journey was “blame”.

Blame is defined as assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong.

Very seldom do we humans “blame” or assign responsibility for negatives on ourselves. It is way easier to start looking for all outside influences that have caused such a result.

Answer me this, have you ever said “So and so is thinking bad of me, that is why I feel this pressure.”

No?

Well, I have. In reality, I am looking for someone or something to blame for a negative in my life. In his article “Three Steps to Develop Personal Accountability”, Michael Timms states the following:

“Blame gives away your power. When you blame your problems on circumstances or people, you give the power to overcome your problems to those you blame.  Leaders take outcomes out of the hands of fate by leveraging everything within their control to get the right results.”

I am responsible for my emotions. No one on the outside is responsible for my thoughts. I should always be cautious of where I allow my thoughts to go. They can drive me or I can drive them.

It’s an amazing choice!

Let’s take the example of that statement…

“So and so is thinking bad of me, that is why I feel this pressure.”  

If I grab my emotions and talk to myself I can simply remind myself of Isaiah 54:7.

“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.”

Have you ever heard the word scapegoat?

A scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expedience. I must guard carefully to never allow my thoughts to search for a scapegoat in my life where I should be looking inward.

I have totally blamed the devil for troubles in my life, more than once. Now I am not saying there is no devil and he is not all that Ephesians 6 says, but I AM saying it’s one thing to be aware that there is an enemy but deflecting all conflict to his blame and not facing my own needs for improvement is not being honest with myself.

This is not an invitation to ride the condemnation train either, by no means.

This is simply an invitation to think about what we think about. I’m encouraging that we do not brush every challenge off to “It’s the devil” so that we don’t have to look deep inside to see what we may need to look at in our own lives.

Instead, ask the Father to reveal to us what we need to laser focus our attention on the inside that needs some transformation.

Did someone steal my friend’s money?

No, but if the habit in a challenge is to look outside to see what caused the challenge, I will always find someone else to blame.

My best friend works at a busy store. The other day she set her jacket on the shelf while she was putting some things in the back.  When she returned, the jacket was gone along with her keys and earbuds which cost a lot to replace.  She had a choice at that very moment to curse someone with all the vehement energy within her…which she may have done for a second or two, but she soon grabbed her thoughts and asked God to forgive her?

What?

Ask God to forgive her?

She knew in her heart God had said, “GRAB YOUR JACKET!” but she, for whatever reason, didn’t grab it.

At this “crossroad of the heart”, she had the opportunity to point fingers, blame someone else, blame the devil for coming to steal, or take responsibility that she chose to leave that jacket in an unsecured location.

That my friends is maturity. It did cost her, but the lesson learned was of great value too.

What we choose to see is what we get to see. Here is a fun little story I read this week:

“Back in the days when the settlers were moving to the West, a wise man stood on a hill outside a new Western town. As the settlers came from the East, the wise man was the first person they met before coming to the settlement. They asked eagerly what the people of the town were like.

He answered them with a question: “What were the people like in the town you just left?” Some said, “The town we came from was wicked. The people were rude gossips who took advantage of innocent people. It was filled with thieves and liars.” The wise man answered, “This town is the same as the one you left.”

They thanked the man for saving them from the trouble they had just come out of. They then moved on further west. Then another group of settlers arrived and asked the same question: “What is this town like?” The wise man asked again, “What was the town like where you came from?”

These responded, “It was wonderful! We had dear friends. Everyone looked out for the others’ interest. There was never any lack because all cared for one another. If someone had a big project, the entire community gathered to help. It was a hard decision to leave, but we felt compelled to make way for future generations by going west as pioneers.”

The wise old man said to them exactly what he had said to the other group: “This town is the same as the one you left.” These people responded with joy, “Let’s settle here!”

It truly is a beautiful way to live. Focus on the good, look for the abundance, see the sunshine.

Let everyone be devoted to fulfill the work God has given them to do with excellence, and their joy will be in doing what’s right and being themselves, and not in being affirmed by others.

Galatians 6:4-5

I want to close with an account of a conversation I had with a dear friend this week.

I was speaking about an incident that happened years ago. To me, it was a nice incident about my kids in their youth but my friend quickly stopped me and said,  “Are you ready to let go of lack in your life?”

What? Rude! I’m trying to tell you a story about my kids and you interrupt me to slap me in the face?

Well, I didn’t actually say those words, but if I would have taken his words personally I could have been offended; however, I chose to stop for a second and listen to hear a hard truth I needed.

He continued, “When you started talking, I could literally feel “lack” in your words. When are you going to give yourself permission to live in abundance? It is time to stop living in a place of lack in all categories of your life.” If peace, health, joy, confidence, mental, physical, or finances have any lack in your mind then it needs to stop now! No more allowing contracts in life that steal from you or make you settle for less. Stop living small!”

Heart cross-road time again…I was at a crossroad! Do I start telling him WHY I think this way.

Do I defend my small thinking and be offended by his abrupt shining of high beam lights into my life?

Do I express the victim side or do I stop all blame and allow the sweet, sweet words of truth that bring freedom to flood in so I can heal and grow?

Choice is once again a beautiful thing!

In our online Zoom book club, we are reading a book called “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere

“When an offense occurs, a debt is owed. You have heard it said, “He’ll pay for this.” So forgiveness is like the cancellation of a debt.”
― John Bevere, Bait Of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense

My heart of encouragement to you is simply this:

Love yourself so you can love others

Forgive yourself so you can forgive others 

See the best in yourself so you can see it in others 

Take accountability for yourself and allow others to do the same for themselves.